In an all-encompassing dialogue with Zane Lowe on Apple Music, SZA, the fearless songbird, unraveled her journey towards fame, her battle with its challenges, and the unexpected catalyst that kick-started her music career – her ex-fiancé.
From Co-dependence to Independence SZA’s music journey began in an unusual fashion. The spark ignited in her was not initially born out of passion, but a need to assert herself. Her ex-fiancé, almost a decade older than her, was the dominant figure in their relationship. He was the one who took care of her basic needs – food, clothing, and shelter.
“My starting point in music can be traced back to my ex-fiancé, who was the provider of my sustenance. He was older than me by about eight years.”
Her feelings of inadequacy were exacerbated when she compared herself to his previous partners – successful women who were lawyers, businesswomen, and artists. As a college dropout, still working as a bartender in a strip club, she felt she lacked value. This feeling initiated her journey into the world of music.
The SOS Call
As the most nominated artist at the 2024 Grammys, with nine nods and a career total of 24, SZA is no stranger to the limelight. However, the artist recently came to a startling realization – the life of fame is far from normal.
“Recently, I’ve come to understand that this entire charade, this fame, is anything but typical.”
Amidst the whirlwind of expectations and the constant intrusion into her personal space, she found herself struggling to cope. This relentless pressure often made her lash out, and she admitted to feeling “on edge and not a kind person.”
Anxiety, Panic Attacks and the Price of Fame
One of the most startling repercussions of her fame has been the onset of panic attacks. SZA confessed to experiencing anxiety over how she is perceived. Her fear of judgment became so intense that she found herself having panic attacks in the most unexpected situations.
“I started experiencing panic attacks like never before. I remember being at a photoshoot for Wall Street Journal, tears streaming down my face, because I was terrified about how I would be perceived.”
Reflections on Fame and Self-Perception
The 34-year-old singer is currently grappling with questions about her identity, public perception, and the meaning of her fame. She often wonders if she can disappear without having to answer to anyone.
“I find myself concerned about what does all of this fame actually mean, how do people view me, what do they expect from me, can I just disappear and not talk to anybody?”
These poignant revelations from the singer’s life paint a vivid picture of her journey from self-doubt to self-assertion, and the ongoing battle with fame and self-perception. Despite the challenges, SZA continues to make waves in the music industry, proving her point and standing tall as an inspiration for many.
